The next time you've spent an the whole day in bed, eaten an entire coffee cake, watched your own private rerun of season 2 of "24" try this, Pick any noun, like "dog" and add the word "syndrome" call a friend and tell him or her that you've just been diagnosed with "dog syndrome"..."of course it's terminal!"..."no, there's no treatment!!"..."Like I didn't have enough to worry about!!!"
Throw a gerund in front of "Dog" for increased credibility, like "Puking". "I've just been diagnosed with Puking Dog Syndrome"..."of course it's rare!!"..."You know how dogs eat until they get sick, well so do some chronically ill people. It's a side effect from all these meds.
Be careful not to create a meal from a Chinese restaurant. "Flaming Tiger Syndrome", for example.
Seriously, everything is diagnosable today. Not to be cruel, but in my childhood I was diagnosed with one word, "bad". Today, I'd be diagnosed A.D.D. or A.D.H.D. and treated with heavy meds. One of my childhood pals, Phil, was really bad, and he was diagnosed. He described it in this way, "It's the greatest. I can do anything and it's not my fault, so I don't get in trouble." Ten years later he was dead from a drug overdose.
This isn't to say that we were better off in the old days, although certain arguments can be made. When I was in my early teens, the dentist told my mom that I had 18 cavities. I got whacked, then as punishment, had to have them all filled without Novocaine.
In those days, this was the treatment "galloping Irish Tooth Syndrome." Reminds me that acupuncture dulls my pain today without drugs. Oh, and I haven't had a new cavity since my med free dentistry.
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