Steps to a Better Life

    A Daily ‘To Do’ List

     No one at our house is feeling well today and while spring is only a few days away it is cold and grey out. I hurt and am irritable. My husband reaches from within his pain to try and keep wood burning in our wood stove so we have some heat. He only has the energy to do that. He is uncommunicative and grim. Our daughter is "on break" but is not feeling well herself and is very withdrawn. Even the dogs seem lethargic and unresponsive. They aren't playing and don't seek out our company as they usually do.

     The mood in the house right now is as cold and grim as it is outside. There is no wind in here but there certainly is a cold, cutting edge to everyone's mood. Our comments to each other are as biting as the March wind whipping around the corner of the house.

     Just when I think I've hit bottom I go to email and find someone has sent me something that I may be able to use to help myself and my family. It is true, "When mama ain't happy, nobody's happy." One of us (and it might as well be me) has got to start dealing with things. I'll at least try.

What do I have to work with right now? Someone sent me this list :

Things to remember one day at a time:

• The most useless thing to do ........Worry
• The greatest Joy........Giving
• The greatest loss......Loss of self-respect 
• The most satisfying work..........Helping others 
• The ugliest personality trait......Selfishness   
• The most endangered species.........Dedicated leaders 
• The greatest "shot in the arm"..........Encouragement   
• The greatest problem to overcome.....Fear 
• Most effective sleeping pill.......Peace of mind   
• The most crippling failure disease...........Excuses    
• The most powerful force in life...........Love 
• The most dangerous pariah............A gossiper 
• The world's most incredible computer...the human brain
• The worst thing to be without........ Hope 
• The deadliest weapon....The tongue   
• The two most power-filled words........."I Can…"   
• The greatest asset.........Faith 
• The most worthless emotion........Self-pity 
• The most prized possession.......Integrity   
• The most beautiful attire......A SMILE! 
• The most powerful channel of communication........Prayer
• The most contagious spirit......Enthusiasm    
• The most important thing in life................GOD

Everyone needs a list to live by...pass it along, or build your own!!!"

     I think about the list and how it relates to my life and chronic pain. I must have been meant to see the list just now because I'm ready to despair and just can't get on top of my pain.

     There are many things in the list that strike a chord within me. I've  certainly worried, felt loss of self respect because I couldn't do the things I had before, live a life marked by selfishness,  dived into self-pity, lost hope, forgotten or bypassed prayer, lacked not only enthusiasm but some days any ambition and tried ineffectually to deal l with massive amounts of fear. I have valid reasons (such as unremitting pain) for not dealing well with things but I'm sure I have more than a million excuses for why I'm not responding well.   I'm sure I turn to even "celebrity gossip" to postpone dealing with my own issues. Frequently, I use my own tongue to sabotage my life and cut down my own efforts.

      The tongue is really one of the most dangerous weapons as well as an effective ally if we can harness its power. I guess I should use the list to tap into some power other than my own.

     There may not be a way out of our constant pain, but there may be a way, in fact many ways, through it. I don't believe we should ever stop looking for new ways to deal with our pain. Every tool we can muster might help. While medical assistance has often failed us we still keep searching. A word from a friend, a new kind of meditation or relaxation technique, acupuncture, herbal medicine, self-hypnosis, prayer, all of these are tools in most of our tool kits. Each time I despair I look through my pain "tool kit" and reevaluate what I'm doing-am I using the right tool?.

     Today's list was a good reminder for me to look outside my kit and outside myself. From this list, I've picked up a few reminders of things that might help me through another day. Even if it is just for today, this hour, this minute, I can make it through. I can start again tomorrow.

     So just for today I will remember to try to give to and help others, finding encouragement, seeking peace of mind, giving and receiving love.  I’ll use my brain, believing in hope, saying "I can", rely on my faith--retaining my integrity, wearing a SMILE, utilizing prayer, finding some enthusiasm and most importantly putting GOD first, thanking and trusting Him.

     I need to ask God for the grace to try to do these things and the courage to try; I have to count on His limitless, unmerited grace. I really can't do anything without it. I've expended my resources and know I can't count on my body to respond as I wish it would. My mind rebels and quakes at the thought of another day in pain. My spirit is at an all time low so I need grace to find my own courage to do what I can for myself, right now, starting this second.  Perhaps, this is when He is closest to me.

     These tools don't provide a quick fix but they will help me through today. Today is all I have so I'll take it-- hour to hour and most times minute to minute.

     I hope everyone makes it through today with grace, through today and all the days God has planned for us. That means even those days like today when I may be living second to second to second.

     Breathe in Peace, Kathy

Comments

[Steven Harold Hypnotherapist]

It's not always the case but sometimes I have noticed that when something in our tool kit no longer works it can be because we are doing it without really engaging with it. This is the time it can be good to sit down with a friend and do it together to re-awaken your creativity on making the tool different and therefore interesting.