Golden Afternoon

It’s been almost two years since I went to work for the last time.  I tried so hard to keep working, but my arachnoiditis pain made it impossible.  When I finally accepted the fact that I couldn’t work anymore, I was in a very bad place.  I couldn’t see anything but sadness.  I was frustrated, hurt, scared and a million other things I can’t even begin to describe.

As I was struggling to get over my new physical limitation, we lost our dogs.  Dallis and Austin were my best friends, they were the two who stayed here with me every day and kept me company even on the worst days.  I didn’t think I would ever get over losing them, I’m still not sure I ever will.

But today, I had a feeling I haven’t had in a long time.  I feel hope. I don’t know why, but when I was looking outside at the sunlight on the trees, I felt happy.  The happiness I used to feel on beautiful days like this one.  Almost like the bad stuff never even happened.  I feel like I did way before I even had back surgery.  The pain is still the same, but right now, this moment,  this afternoon, while I’m watching Dino snoring on the kitchen floor, I’ve got a smile on my face!!

There is a favorite movie of mine, it’s called “The Bishop’s Wife”.  The movie stars David Niven as the bishop, Loretta Young as his wife and Cary Grant as an angel.  In the very beginning of the movie, the angel (Cary ) helps a blind man cross the street.  The blind man says he can go the rest of the way alone to see his doctor “you see, I have faith”. 

I feel like I’ve been blind for long enough, I had faith that somehow things would get better and they have.  I know this feeling won’t last forever, but it’s here now and I’m going to relish in it.  I’m going to be thankful for my family, my home and my friends. And I’m thankful for all of the people that are praying for me and all the other people suffering in this world.

And for this golden afternoon, I’ll remember all my life, how the sun came out after being dimmed for so long.

God bless you.

Thanks for listening,

Anne

Comments

[mary]

Love you Annie!!!!!!!

Sis