Chronic Pain Lifestyle

It's Only Pain, Rule #18

     I forget what number I'm up to on this list, so rather than do the work, I'll arbitrarily assign a number.  Rule # 18, "STOP THE MADNESS".  If it were so easy to just stop doing harmful things to ourselves then we'd do it.  The problem is that many of these things were taught to us in childhood, and became "habits".  ( I'm ill from quoting that harpy that used to be on TV).

     The nutty lesson that I learned as a child was to face unpleasantness, including fear and pain, head-on.  To quit in fear of some outcome or because some part of my body was in pain was unthinkable and the only way to overcome these things was total denial of their existance.

     I hate to digress but I'm teaching the same lesson to my kids, much to my wife's displeasure.  For example, last Saturday my son was injured in a football game, hauled-off the field, then checked by the team doc who pronounced him fit to play after taking a breather and running in place to loosen his injured ankle.  Deaf to his complaints that his ankle really hurt, I told him the doc said he was okay, and to tell his coach he could still play.  He went back in.

     Later that day, his ankle diagnosed as broken was put in a cast.  His coaches were astonished that he played the second half of a football game with a broken leg.  I wasn't. I was proud and why not?  Hadn't I wrestled an entire season, placing in the states with 4 broken ribs.  I can't count the number of concussions, broken fingers and dislocations I'd played with.  Why?  My dad told me to.

     Pain in my family was just another thing to be endured as life marched on.  Our mantra was, "Suffer in Silence."  As a kid, an almost unforgivable sin in my house was to insist on a trip to the emergency room at the hospital because God alone could help you if there wasn't anything wrong except a sprain.

     Sure, we had our share of broken things that couldn't be ignored.  From my experience an arm wasn't one of them.  We weren't much different in this respect than our friends.  Just about everyone would rather have and live with small broken bones, like fingers, than a hopped-up Irish dad whose son was such a pussy that he had to go to the hospital for a broken nose!  That could be fixed at home...and was.

     So I have a tough time now admitting to any pain, which makes me a difficult patient.  In our house a bridge was built that spanned childhood and adulthood.  The toll to get across the bridge was how much one could endure and continue on.

     My recovery might move along much easier, maybe quicker, too if I could just tell my doc in answer to the question, "So, how are you doing?" with something other than, "Okay."

      In a way, I'm kind of like a busted switch, off and off.  I don't have a pain scale.  Is a ten the time I was punished for having 18 cavities by having them filled with no Novocaine?  I remember that hurt like a mother, but I can't remember what it felt like.  Does that make it a one.

      Most of the broken bones I endured probably hurt a lot, but like my cavities, I can't remember them, except that I was proud of my toughness.  Is that a one or a ten?

     Do my feet burn right now? Yup!

     Can I urinate? Nope!

     Will I admit it?  I won't even remember it tomorrow.

     I promised that I'd never teach my kids to suffer.  I struggle every day not to break that promise.  I'd said that my behavior caused my wife displeasure. 

     It's one of the sins that could send me to hell.  God bless, Colin

Oh, For A Good Night's Sleep

       It seems as if I’ve been searching my whole adult life for the perfect bed for my aching back. It has been a very difficult search since my hubby has to sleep on it also. For about 15 years we used a Soma Waterbed System. It looked like a regular bed and used a regular bed frame set. But when you lifted up the "mattress" it was just a small bit of foam rubber covering 5 blue tubes containing water in the "box springs". It was fine with both of us until the tubes broke and could no longer be repaired and the foam rotted out from leaking water over the years.

      We still would have kept it except we could no longer get replacement tubes. There was one other problem for me—I could barely get over the "hard side" to get out of the bed. So I bought a regular mattress and springs. Hubby complained but I was happy to have all of my back supported again.

      My hubby snores. I mean he really snores. He snores for a few minutes then he quits breathing. Suddenly his whole body jumps, he grunts and starts breathing again. He will breathe normally again for a few minutes then repeat the process. He always said I was waking him up and no he has never talked to a doctor about the problem. Getting hit in the ribs with an elbow or hit in the back with an errant knee wasn’t any fun.

      But then the situation changed. I started having "jumping" spells only mine was not confined to bed and snoring. Mine would happen any time of the day or night.

•       If I was sitting I ended up slouched down in the chair. If I was in bed my legs went in all directions.
• If I was standing or walking I would fall. Neither one of us could get any rest so he went to the spare bedroom to sleep.

      One night I had one of my jumping spells while standing up. Even though I was holding onto my walker (with 5" wheels) I fell backwards. I landed flat on my back but I knew immediately that my right arm was broken.

      Hubby called 911. The two women paramedics that came with the ambulance had to straighten out my arm before they could move me. I never knew any acute pain could be that bad to begin with. But when one of them held me down, with the help of hubby, and the other one adjusted my broken arm I screamed loudly and for a long time with just one breath. I almost blacked out from the pain. But as quickly as that pain came, it left and my arm did feel better.

      The arm needed surgery. It was done and was doing OK when I fell again.

      This time they replaced my right shoulder joint. I went to a nursing home for rehab. Medicare pays for 20 days of rehab for certain conditions. When the doctor came to check me out of the NH he asked me if I could get out of bed by myself.

     "NO".

      He said, "Dear lady, if anyone deserves an electric bed it is you".

      He wrote me a prescription for Medicare’s version of a hospital bed. I notified my son to come get his bed that was in the spare bedroom his father was using. He got it. Then my local pharmacy brought me a bed as prescribed. I used it for a few days before calling them for a new mattress.

       They don’t have new mattresses. They take the old ones, sanitize them, put them in a special covering and reuse them, over and over again until they literally fall apart. They brought me a better one. That was laughable.

      I ended up buying a Leisure Bed Mattress. It cost a bundle but it was worth it. However over time it gave in and molded itself to my body. It sagged in the middle. I put foam pads on it. They helped for a short period of time. Still it wasn’t that uncomfortable until these past few months with my new pains.

      Last night I went to Wal-Mart determined to buy a memory foam topper. They had one twin size memory foam topper but it was nearly $50. Next to it there was a memory foam/eggshell pad combo that cost about $30. But they only had a full size. We bought it and hubby cut it down to fit my bed.

      I went to bed at my regular time and didn’t wake up until almost noon!!!! It’s been years since I slept through like that and today my back isn’t hurting as bad as usual. I sure hope this continues and the new pad doesn’t sag like the old ones did. The bed feels totally flat and even now. Wow! I’m glad I finally listened to people who told me memory foam works wonders for bad backs.

       Sleep well, Wanda

WHAT I'VE DONE TO COPE

---

WHAT I'VE DONE TO COPE

        I've had back and leg pain for most of my life. A so called birth defect started it and a myelogram with pantopaque being left in the spine instead of being removed has left me this way. Add a couple other diseases that cause pain and it's extremely difficult to cope at all.

      But one must learn to do so or end up being bedridden, deserted and an outcast even among those who should love you the most.

      No matter how you got this disease (Adhesive Arachnoiditis--AA) and no matter how mad you are at that (those) person(s) who made the "mistake" that gave you AA, you are still the only one responsible for how you react to the problem.

• You can give in and end up cowering under the covers all by yourself or you can pick yourself up and find out how to make a new life for yourself and your loved ones. I know this sounds harsh but it is true. When chronic pain/illness strikes we have to face life on life's terms physically but not mentally.
• We do not have to let the disease control us inside where we reside. We are still the same as before in our inner being even though our outer body is in misery. I am still me.

     I will persevere until the end. This is where my faith in the God of the Holy Bible comes in. I am not alone in this fight to live with this pain. There is a song that has these lyrics: "This earthly flesh is but a prison, bars of bone hold my soul...". I believe that is true.

     It is up to each of us to "seek and find" the best medical help possible even if that means traveling to a distant city for awhile. Having the correct medications to help lower the pain level, diminish depression, get rid of the neuropathy pain as well as treatment for any other disease or health problem is an absolute. You simply can not function if you are depressed and in pain that you consider severe.

     It seems that we wake up one day to find out some of our body functions don't function properly anymore.This is true for any disease. AA doesn't have a monopoly on the dysfunction problems be they bladder, bowel or sexual. Many of our systems, usually those in the lumbar area, break down due to AA. Add to that diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease and I think you understand how wide spread the problems are and just how many people are affected.

     If the blood supply isn't there and/or the tactile feeling isn't there, "it ain't gonna work", as the old saying goes. Neither sex has a monopoly on the problems either. Dysfunction is an equal opportunity "employer".

So what to do?

     Make sure that there isn't another underlying problem. I've been on both sides of this coin so I do know a little about what I'm saying. We as well as the medical profession tend to blame all our problems on AA. Using that type thinking has caused me to miss the symptoms of other problems that were potentially dangerous.

     At one point the SjS (Sjogren's Syndrome) was the cause of my problem, not AA at all. The SjS caused me to go through the "change of life" in about six weeks, start to finish. I prefer change of life because that is exactly what it is. It is a big change.

      Thankfully when I explained my sudden problems at my regular check-up, the doctor knew what to look for. I needed hormones. I wasn't even 40. But that took care of me for years.

     Any woman with AA should  have regular check-ups. AA can cause imbalances that we do sometimes blame on our medications. In other words, if a woman is having problems and it's not just the pain associated with AA, go to the doctor and be totally honest, not embarrassed.

     I guess the same goes for men. I know that high blood pressure and the medications taken for it cause problems for men. I have to stick to the "go see the doctor" here also.

     The dynamics of marriage are complicated. Throw AA into it and the whole world changes. You lose jobs, can't pay the bills, lose self worth and often the role of husband and wife get reversed. She has to support the family, do the chores, etc. and her world is turned upside down.

     The husband suddenly finds out that he needs to learn to cook and clean because the wife isn't able to do that anymore. What to do? Hang on and love each other in every way, every day.

1.       The biggest problems are pain and the side affects of our medications.
2. This usually isn't published but our medications can kill the libido and so can the pain.
3. The pain is a big turn off. But if you try extra pain medication in anticipation, it may back fire by causing you to be dizzy, sleepy or a whole host of other things that go against what you want.
4. When physical love fails, the Agape love takes over.

     Since each couple is different I can't offer any specifics but I can say to look back even as far back as the early dating days and try to remember how you communicated your caring for each other.

• Fall in love all over again, allowing the new health situation to be incorporated into this new relationship. It may sound simplistic but it isn't. It's very hard but you can learn to communicate in better and different ways.
• You both might be surprised at the wonderful results and find a deeper commitment.

     It's a whole lot better than crying yourself to sleep every night.

Wanda

How You Can Reduce Stress

HOW YOU CAN REDUCE STRESS

  Try these tips to cope with stressful stiuations:

*SCHEDULE anticipated stress. When possible, space stressful situations so they don't come all at once.

*ARRANGE for privacy. Find a place and schedule a time where you can think alone without interruption.

*MAINTAIN CONTROL. Don't allow insignificant events to control you.

*ESTABLISH support systems among family, friends and colleagues. (Here I add a medical professional to the list.)

*DON'T PROCRASTINATE. Stressful situations get worse the longer you tolerate them.

*MAKE DECISIONS based on your needs rather than what others expect your needs to be.

There is a passage of Scripture given here. You don't need it to follow the advice above but for those who believe in the God of the Holy Bible here it is:

PHILIPPIANS 3:13-21.

Take care,

Wanda

http://bible.oremus.org/?passage=Philippians+3:13-21

Anticipate your regrets...Write Them Down

    It's awfully easy now to look back on something I might have done.  In many cases it would have been a snap to do these things; now, because of AA, I can't.

     There are a few things that I want to get cracking-on, now while I still can.

1. I received an envelope from my mum today that had enclosed all of the papers she could find on my Grandfather's World War II service.  When he died a few years back he left to me his medals.  I'm very proud of him, and as a bit of a history buff, particularly military history, I tried to peel some layers of the onion of his record on the web.

     I wasn't successful.  In the paperwork I found his dog tags, discharge papers, and some medical files from Walter Reed Hospital.  After fighting in Africa, D-Day, Northern France, and Germany, he was badly wounded and spent 3 years after the War in Walter Reed.  He hasn't got a Purple Heart and I'd like to know why.  Funny thing is, a conversation with him 6 years ago would have told me all I wanted to know.  He and my Grandmother have passed-away, so it's too late. I'll have to do it the hard way.  Had I only thought then.

          2.  Along the lines of his heritage, my Grandfather is a MacDougall, a Scott.  Many of his living relatives can and will fill-in many of the gaps in the storied MacDougall Clan history.  Our tartan (family plaid) is hideous, and our family crest is pretty ugly as well.  Our battle cry is something nice like, "Loyalty Unto Death".  We're Highlanders, unlike the lowlanders who were called "Rievers"   We still have blood oaths of fealty and blood feuds.  I'll probably get this wrong, but I think we still hate the Armstrongs.  We are prominently featured in the movie, "Braveheart", and were one of the clans who sided with Robert the Bruce, before we attempted to assassinate him.  To make peace Robert the Bruce married, while the King of Scotland, a MacDougall daughter.  We stole his family crest and, as clan lore has it, still possess it.  The one in the Tower of London is a replica.  My grandfather was the leader of the Clan (worldwide) for a number of years until his death.  They closed the streets of Newton Mass. on the day he was buried.  He spoke Gaelic, and played a fiddle, which he taught himself to play.

          3.  I've written ad nuaseum on my baseball interests.  One more for my Dad.  He claims that Tom Glavine is a relative great nephew of his from his mother's side.  The names and locations and trajectories of his mother's family all fit.  It's a rare Boston name, and the Glavine branch of the Glavins settled in and lived in Tom Glavine's home town in MA.  Relatives of his generation changed the name , moved from Boston to the South Shore, and raised broods.  One way or another, I'll proove him right or wrong before he parts the mortal coil.

So there is the 16th step.  Pick a few things you'd regret having not done, and do them...while you still can.

Stick with Reality. It's easier.

     Back to math class.

     From the Su Doku article, we learned that not all empty boxes in a given puzzle are possible homes for a given number, and that it's especially important to find the boxes that are impossible homes for given numbers.  Finding the impossible "homes" reduces the number of possible solutions.  It makes the puzzle easier by reduction.

     But how does this help us in real life?  We don't live in an abstract world.  Our world is a real brick and mortar place where people laugh and cry.  It's a place where what's impossible today, may very well be possible tomorrow.  But all we have is the here and now, the future comes later.

      Take a simple example: "I'm going to join the gym".  Now, deconstruct this action into it's smallest possible outcomes, which can be formed as questions.  Assign value to the answers to these questions in this way:  Yes=possible, and is a positive outcome; no=impossible, or is a negative outcome.  If you wanted, you could use numbers, a "yes" could= 1, and a "no" could = -1.  So begin asking questions.  Think of as many as you can and when you've run out, just add up the numbers.  Any positive number means, do it.  A negative number means, don't.  Or just look at it because in a simple example, the answers are obvious.  The trick is to reduce your big questions or problems to the littlest, simplest actions you can. "I'm going to join the gym".

1. Can I afford it?      Yes
2. Will the gym accommodate my disability?       Yes
3. Does it have specialists for the disabled?       Yes
4. Can I get to and from the gym alone?            Yes
5. Has physical therapy helped me?                  Yes and No
6. According to my Md's is this wise?                 Yes

     You see how this goes.  The answer is obviously, join the gym.  If you could reduce more complex choices in your life, by breaking them-up into component small, or easy choices, solving them, eliminating the impossible, then reconstructing, you'd find this a simple practical way of answering questions in your life.  The only time you run into trouble is when you haven't reduced choices into their smallest components.

     "I'm going to smoke 5 packs of cig's in one hour."  You try that one.

     Don't get caught-up in trying to solve "problems" that don't exist.  The kind of problems that I'm talking about are the ones that might happen in the future.  Since their not real, it's impossible to try to solve them.  Since their not real, it's a waste of time to worry about them.

Rule # 15, Toss out the impossible. Live in the World of the possible, which is the world of reality.  Reduce problems to their smallest components. Solve for the components.

Live Life Backwards...A Lesson from Su Doku

      Remember the Seinfeld episode when George does everything exactly the opposite of what he thinks he should do?  Just like living backwards, he does what he thinks must be the wrong thing, but his life instead of crashing is perfect and every decision he makes ends up being exactly right.  This is the episode when he gets the job on the Yankees.

     I was struggling today with a Su Doku puzzle when it occurred to me that I might have the wrong idea on working out the solution.  I was trying to find the boxes in which the 4's could go.  Then I thought, wait I'm doing this all wrong.

     I was about one third of the way into the puzzle, so about 33 of 100 boxes were filled and I was stumped.  So instead of saying 66 boxes remain and 7 4's have to fit somewhere into these 66, I took a different tack: NOT, WHICH BOXES CAN THEY GO INTO, INSTEAD I SEARCHED FOR THE BOXES THEY COULDN'T GO INTO.

     My search became much easier.  Simple process of elimination--get rid of the boxes where the 4's can't go,  and about 70 boxes, filled and empty, were almost immediately eliminated; a little thinking got me to 20.  At that point, it was obvious that 5 of those remaining 20 boxes couldn't hold any other digit except a 4. I filled the automatic 5, 4's, and moved on to my next toughie: 7's, same process, same result.

     By the third digit, enough of the original 66 empty boxes were filled that the rows and columns began filling themselves.  The puzzle solved itself in about 15 minutes.

     Think about this method in the context of a multiple choice exam.  4 possible correct answers, only one of the 4 is correct.  The right answer is already there.  All you have to do is eliminate the incorrect. The remaining answer must be right.  If in this example, you could eliminate the first 3 of 4 possible answers, you wouldn't even have to read the fourth.  It would have to be correct.

     As to our lives, simple problem solving suggests the elimination of those choices that can't be correct, what remains is true and correct.  I think I'll talk more on this subject later. Night all, Colin

...To Fight the Unbeatable Foe...

      Bob Cowser, Jr. is an associate professor of English at St. Lawrence University in the Adirondack Mountains in upstate NY.   He'd already achieved by the age of 30, many things that took me another decade to complete.  For example, I write bad poetry, but by the time I'd graduated college had several of my poems published in obscure poetry journals.  I think one of them was named "Sluts and Slobs, quarterly.

     Cower, on the other hand, has a PhD. in creative writing and is regularly published in high tone magazines.  He's also written a book, which I haven't yet done.  I'm not resentful of any of that stuff.

      Cower's book, Dream Season,  is a diary of his misadventures as a semi-pro football player on the "Watertown Red and Black", the oldest semi-pro football team in the country that traces its' roots back to 1895.

      At the age of 30, he tried out, made the team, and played a season.  Unique to football is that it is a violent collision sport.  Anyone who's ever suited-up, and played knows the enormous physical demand 60 minutes of hitting heaps on ones body.  Even now, when their is more and better medical care, most profession football players die decades before the non-combatant peers.

     What I most admire about Bob Cowser is that he did what he wasn't supposed to be able to do.  He was committed to suiting-up just one more time. He needed to know if he could still play.  Truth stranger than fiction, an impossible dream is possible, is likely then is reality.

     What is your impossible dream?  You will be surprised that some of those dreams are like Bob Cowser's; that those dreams are not just possible, but with the right mix of passion and commitment, also likely.  Hell, with enough belief in yourself, your dream might be inevitable.

     Step #15 to a better life is to write 5 of your impossible dreams.  Do you want to say hi to Paul Newman? Do you want to stand on the mound at Wrigley Field?  Do you want to see your screenplay on the "big" screen?  Do you want to see a Glacier?  Drink a glass full of water from the Amazon?

      What the heck do you want?  I make 2 promises:

1. Whatever you want, it's already been done.
2. The person or people who did it, before they did anything, decided to do it.

     I'm creating a new site dedicated to helping you reach these goals.  Not surprising, but it's a relatively simple thing to meet the President.  I'll create this site based on feedback.  If I get enough, I'll build the site and put your dreams with my own. It shouldn't surprise you, but helping you, helps me.  God bless, Colin

    

Your traditional chinese medicine Resource

As Colin's acupuncturist i would like to offer my expertise in a 5,000 year old eastern medical system and answer any questions which you may have concerning how Chinese medicine can improve your quality of life. Working with Colin has so far been an enriching and rewarding experience and i would like to broaden the experience with visitors from his site as best I can.  If you doubt my offer of help, I understand; please understand that my practice is limitted to about a ten mile radius North of NYC.  I'll answer questions from around the globe,

email me directly at [email protected]

Peace,
Clayton Shiu L. Ac.
Director of harlem healing arts wellness center
Sifu of Zhi Cheng School of Northern Kung Fu
www.harlemhealingarts.com

Step # 13 of 100 Steps to a Better Life: If You See What Could Be a Life-Line, Grab it.  If You're Wrong, Let Go.

An Old Salesman's Trick: 'The Embedded Question

     Having trouble starting conversations? Can't communicate with your doctor? Try this, just for fun.

     You can guide a conversation anywhere you want it to go.  You can also make people say whatever you want.

     Perhaps I spent too many years on Wall St. with the Pro's to sell them out completely, but I'll share a few secrets of the Pyramids.  Just for fun, you understand.

     Here's how the shy can not only start a conversation, but can also take it right where the diffident want it to go. Follow closely:

1. You are asked a question: "Hi, what's up?" or if you're holding a cane and struggling with a door:  "Are you okay? Can I help you with that?"
2. "Hi, what's up?" is answered with "Not much since my doctor got a hold of me."  Now of course this person must ask you about your doctor...or...

   3, "Are you okay?, Can I help you with that?" answer, "No I'm okay, or I was    until my doctor fixed me."

      Both of these responses contain embedded questions.  Consider this fact before I talk about the questions:  People dislike doctors and love to hear dirt about them.  Doctors are rich, rude, and make you wait for hours in their waiting rooms.  They do the same things to the people who just asked you the above questions.

     4.  Here's the embedded question: What did your doctor do to you?

     You could, with a little thought, embed any question you want in any statement that answers a question.  Almost always, people will follow-up embedded questions, with exactly the question you expect.

    Think how much fun and how easy a conversation becomes when you, through embedding questions, know in advance what questions you'll be asked!

     Are people so easily manipulated? Yep. Otherwise 23 year olds wouldn't make $10,000,000.00 a year on Wall St.

     This is short treatment to a skill that takes a while to develop.  But, give it a shot.  See if I'm full of baloney. Hell, you may just become the life of the party, and make boatloads of new friends from total strangers.

     Someday soon, I'll teach you how to make anyone say "yes", within 10 seconds, but only if they've agreed that they won't say "yes".  All in good fun.

PS. You won't get hoodwinked ever again. God bless, Colin

Step # 12, To A Better Life: Have a little fun!