I few years ago, pre-Arachnoiditis, I started to write a note with the intention that it only be opened in the event of my untimely death. I had secrets. Things that I kept from from my wife, kids, family, parents. It wasn't a spiritual time in my life.
I never even started that note. Even then, I realized that God knew it all anyhow; my secrets were tiny insignificant overblown lies. The only possible outcome, should the note be read, was that my loved ones would then know that I didn't trust them, or love them enough to tell them the truth about myself.
That's how fragile my ego was.
Got a secret? Something embarrassing? Maybe a lie. Could even be a whopper. I've got some news for you: IT'S PROBABLY NOT A SECRET.
Do your secrets wake you at night?
Don't try this, just do it: Fess-up. Start today, and pick an easy one. You'll feel better. Here's how to do it:
"I have something to tell you. I've kept it a secret, but it's been bothering me..." Then tell the secret. Go easy on yourself, though. Start slow! Admitting to little stuff is like a practice round; it makes admitting to rotten, bigger stuff easier. You'll feel better. It won't cure your disease, but it will ease your pain. Honest.
Ignore these ground rules at your peril:
- If admitting a secret will cause another person pain, even if it eases your conscience, DON'T DO IT.
- You will remember things that you had forgotten, so BE BRAVE.
- This is a selfish exercise. ERR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION.
- Be thorough, but again, easing your conscience is no excuse for causing another person needless pain.
- Don't waffle, rationalize, or make excuses.
- Trust that you're doing the right thing and do it.
Step #11 of 100, to a better life: Unburden Yourself of the "Private" You. ADMIT YOUR SECRETS. RIGHT NOW, YOUR SECRETS LIVE RENT FREE IN YOUR HEAD.
You're as sick as your secrets. God bless, Colin
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